Sunday, October 31, 2010

The other side of Twitter



"Hey you, somewhere there on the other side of this hectic and unrealistic world,
while you're daydreaming, or eating your lunch, or going off to bed, or having a date with those girls,
or perhaps doing a same thing as me,
did you ever think of me?
did you ever wonder why suddenly I never post anything on my Twitter account?
or why I never showed in your timeline?
or maybe, when you're searching for a girl's name, and you realized that my name is quite popular, then you accidentally typed my name in the search bar, and my profile was shown as the top one?
and then you started to realize that my avatar was quite cute, you decided to click on my profile, and you found out that I followed some same people as you?
or you're just curious why your crush mentioned me on her post, and you started to wonder what kind of conversation we had, then you tried to figure that out by reading our conversation?
or..."

And that list will never end, I bet. I typed that again, over and over again, on every medium I could use, for example, my homework sheet, my brain, my mirror, and even the wall. I figured out that one day, I realized someone was missing from my online-hectic-world. Just a girl, a very very unknown friend of mine, and I just wondered why she never showed up again, then one day, she talked more than she would yesterday.

And I wondered, if there's someone who did a same thing as me, who wonders why I never show up again. Someone far away from this town, perhaps in the United States? Or Arctic?

I was kind of hoping, though. A guy with a super black hair, with some blue or gray highlight, brown eyes, buy gray seems nice. Someone who's tall, quiet, has a very well-build body, but not too much. Someone who has very soft hands which he could use it to stroke my hair, gentle voice to call my name, warm hands, etc.
But for once, I just one someone to realize me here.
To also do a same thing as me.

It's almost past midnight, but I still have my mind over it. I typed again, again, repeatedly. I bet everyone is tired to read these kind of articles, so am I.

My mind goes to other side of my fantasy world, again. I admire Hayley Williams, or William, or someone who uses William as her name. Her strong personality was heard by her songs. And as a girl, I want to have her voice. Or her red hair. something I could use on my Twitter account. I want to be her.

But again, my mother would be so mad if I became her. Red hair. She always said that as if it's the most weirdest thing ever. I wasn't interrupting, but she felt interrupted.

After a long trip about her and her songs, my kittens, homework, comics, labels, bills, I remember you again, somewhere in the corner of my wide mind. Someone who cares about me, at least my timeline. Who fits my description, who's going to fill my night with softness, my days with gentleness, my afternoons with cups of yogurt.

But first of all, someone who fits my description.

"Hey you. I bet you wanted to send me a DM or something. You wanted to ask my name, or even just to say Hi, and probably compliment about what I wrote. Perhaps, you wanted to ask me to your friends whom followed, but you're scared, your friend would asked you which person you tried to know, and he/she asked you to mention my profile, and you're scared I would realize that someone have mentioned me, and I would ask who are you, and you're scared that you wouldn't know how you should respond to it. And you're scared to see my timeline too much, because if I accidentally use an application to know my most frequently reader, I found your name at the top of the list, and I would feel scared and I thought that you're a stalker. When you actually weren't. But you are curious of my life, aren't you?"

Those are what I will say to myself about me stalking your life through Twitter. Well, I did this, because I want you to do the same thing as me.

I quoted this.

How can I decide what's right?

When you're clouding up my mind

Can't win your losing fight
all the time


Not gonna ever own what's mine

When you're always taking sides

You won't take away my pride

No, not this time
Not this time


How did we get here?

when I use to know you so well

How did we get here?

Well, I think I know


The truth is hiding in your eyes

And it's hanging on your tongue

Just boiling in my blood,

But you think that I can't see


What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all

Well, I will figure this one out

on my own

on my own


I'm screaming "I love you so..."

But my thoughts you can't decode


How did we get here?

when I use to know you so well

How did we get here?

Well, I think I know


Do you see what we've done?

We're gonna make such fools of ourselves

Do you see what we've done?

We're gonna make such fools of ourselves


How did we get here?

when I use to know you so well

How did we get here?

Well, I think I know


I think I know

I think I know

There is something I see in you

It might kill me 
I want it to be true

Somehow, I feel connected with this song, with my present condition, of course. It's like, every time I heard this one, I remember your existence. Someone who did a same thing as me.

But yes, it is my fantasy. And I'm hoping that you would do a same thing.
You already seduced me with your existence. But I want to be the one who seduced you.
I truly do.

PS: I categorized this as a short story, fictional. It just a based opinion, and I really hope you'll like this :)
Am sorry if I talked some too-fictional and undefined stuffs, well this is what my mind works for.
Thank you for your valuable time.

Sincerely,
d.