Sunday, April 7, 2013

When Someone Told You

"I love you."
Or maybe "I like you."
Or perhaps, "I really care about you."

When a person whom you weren't growing up with,
Who doesn't know about you getting naked with your childhood friends in a bathtub when you were five,
Who never knows that you got stung by bee several times in a month that your friends started to call you 'honey',
Who just randomly knows you from one of your new colleague,
Who just happened to pass your favorite bookstore when you were there,
Who doesn't understand the origin of your hatred towards snake,
Or your affection towards lions;
Who hasn't listened to the playlist you're growing up with,
Who doesn't understand why you hate purple so much,
Who doesn't know how to treat you when you're crying,
Who were pretty careless on your next few accidental meetings,
Who never understands your obsessions with old books,
Who never understands why out of all places, you chose to stay in this city,
Who never realizes that you barely drink coffee or tea, but you adore orange juice so much that you bought the full box of kiddy-size orange juice boxes,
Who doesn't know that you care about your weight very much because you don't like buying new pants,
Who only thinks that you care about your weight because you don't want to look fat,
Who doesn't understand the reason why you hate wearing skirt,
Who doesn't understand why you didn't shave your legs,
Who doesn't understand why you're so eager on buying a pair of old, used duck boots,
Who doesn't know that you had a crack on your skull when you were nine,
Who never knows that you actually own action figures,
Or a person who just has no idea about your life,

Tells you that he/she cares for you very much? Love you? Like you?

A person who's pretty clueless of who you are.

When someone told you how much they care or how big their love is for you,

It feels like someone just opened birdcages right behind you, with hundreds--no, thousands--of birds fly towards you, pushing you forward. Their feathers tickle you as they pass your cheek, hair, arms. Not to mention, they're chirping right at your ears, giving that sweet feelings of calmness.

Or like eating a mouthful of your favorite sweets, in my case, Key Lime Pie. It just melts inside your mouth with that classic sweet and tart feelings, it makes your cheeks puff for several moments that you feel like you were gaining bunch of extra pounds just in your cheeks alone.

It's like preparing on doing a bungee jumping. You're either excited or scared. A possibility of very rushed adrenaline that makes you happy, or a possibility of a broken rope that send you straight to your death. Your gloominess.

It's like picking up college major. You're anxious and curious, also excited. You never know which one to choose, how to be in it, how to act for it, what's best for the future. You're slightly afraid, but still curious. You feel like this very moment should just stop so you don't need to think about it further.

It's like being pulled inside the water and you eagerly swim back up, widen your nostrils and mouth once you touch the air. It consumes your whole body's oxygen. The idea of dying has come to you and it makes your heart beats faster, and it makes you glad that it's over, that you can breathe normally now.

It's like having tons of butterflies inside your stomach and they're trying to get out, which is hurting you yet it's also ticklish.

It's like touching the cold sea water barefooted for the first time. It's shocking and cold, but then you get used to it, you started to move around because you're comfortable with the water.

And you know it's different. Because that person is not your parents, nor your siblings, not your cousin, nor people who used to express their caring feelings for you.

It's just different, because all of the feelings that you body contained when a person told you he/she loves you.

It's probably much more closer than you think. Yes, those indescribable feelings that made your world turns around? I bet they come as a person told you, "I love you".

And you'll never know from where, when, and why it's coming.

I guess so.

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