I Did It Again

Gosh, great. I did it again.

I feel extremely ashamed that it has already being written on my resolution book, yet I keep doing the same thing. Just when I thought this High School will be plain for such kind of matters, it gradually came.

Sadly, I just realized halfway through that I made another mistake –nearly as similar as before- that might eventually ruin my another perfect time. Well, the interruption is tolerable, but the results aren’t. The bonds which were made throughout the journey gradually crumble down. They always do.

“Never, EVER, put that interest towards mankind. Literally MANkind” is the exact sentence I have put on my Resolution book. What has happened in my previous year is intolerable, the impacts. Jealousy, broken heart, tedious, tiredness, sadness, madness, everything was mixed into a person, me.

Love.

Although it has a massive power to actually turn someone alive –through its tenderness, gentleness, caring-, it doesn’t go that way for me. Two times experiencing a same tiresome, jealousy, madly, and sadly pain is plentiful to actually made me think twice for something involving love. Especially with living things. People.

I have no problems with love for something –passion, as I would say. Books, voluntarism, humanity, environment, I have loved them since ages. Time has flew as I dedicating myself for them. But not with people. Period.

It has been that hurt. It never pleases me. It’s tiresome.

That’s why I never have an eye for loving a person. Family is fine, but not outsiders. Foreigners. Unknowable people.

I know I'm not lovable. It is hard to actually find someone who’ll gradually accept for who I am. This “think ahead” habit has clanged to me since ages. I always put myself in the condition where I’m used to think about what’s next. What might happen tomorrow? What might I feel next month? And that always occurs in my every personal relationships. Indicates I'm not suitable for any dating relationships. I'm sucks on it.

I am even able to describe what kind of scenario that will be played when I'm in someone’s interest. First month will be when we get to know each other, next one week will be when we are nearly being the unofficial-so-called couple, and the next week goes with this tiresome that mostly came from myself, and later on, it’s the end. Less than 2 months, I believe.

Which is why I am scared to have something as common as that. When this person is weirdly getting attached, connections and interactions have been made, sweet, gentle, caring attentions have been showed, this simple question just popped, “Will you feel this happy tomorrow?”

Which bring us to the next stage. Tiresome. Tedious. I had enough.

And I'm near.

But I do feel tired. There’s no way I would repeat a same mistake, same problem, same regret. I’m tired of falling in love with dynamical creature. Lively. Forceful. Because people change.

And pathetic, indeed. I may say “I Love You”, but then I never actually think about you as much as I think about that person somewhere on this Earth that will actually never think back. Or about my dreams. I never give you the same attention I’ve given to someone I have constantly been in love with. I actually admit that you’re replaceable. Temporary.

It’s me who’s being mean all the time. Yes, since I can't actually differ “mean” and “nice”.

Thus, before we end up to the same stage, I believe, cutting everything is the best choice.

Good bye, live a happy life.

Sincerely,

Dina 

Library War: Love and War

I stumbled upon something interesting, again. The genre-well, the story progression-hit me at the first sight. I always fall for some comedy-romance that don’t put focus on the romance itself, but the main story-how they develop really good and have something that used as the main story rather than romance as the base one. Yep, I’m into things that have romance put don’t put it at the top of the story-instead, they are focusing on other things that more serious (like a war condition) or funny (like a special matter at school or babysitting *ups, I feel like mentioning other title). In this case, this “Library War: Love and War” story is mainly focused about the Seika 31 era thingy in Japan (2019 in our dicitionary) when the government has declared the “Media Security” or stuff, mainly about government that think the generation should be secured from the improper media that might turn them into “good-for-nothing” generation, harsh, uneducated, and, you know what I’m trying to say.

Then they have this “Media Improvement Committee” that totally with the rules, they demand for a better quality of media for generations in that age. And sadly, they would not hesitate to do rough stuff to persuade and “take” what it takes to “save” the generations-by any means, strictly prohibit people’s right to read any kind of books and being selective, they would take books forcibly from the bookstores when they think that those books are ‘problematic’ and ‘the material is improper to be read’-and make a better future. They think. And maybe this sounds quite good, if those committees don’t start to touch other matters that actually don’t need to be banned or stuff, but just because there are one line that sounds provoking people to be ‘bad’ or teasing the government (well, it’s our rights too, right?) when it doesn’t even sound like one, they started to get into things that make people feel bothersome. They would take all books just because the author has something to do with government, or too fictional that can make people think insane. Well, that might happens, but still, this committee is way too far from their jurisdiction, sometimes.

And time is not that tough. There are people who care about the freedom to read anything they want and to gain informations from anywhere they like and these people are fighting to defend themselves from the forceful Media Improvement Committee and freely lend books, media, and passing informations for those who are seeking informations. These people defend under the name of “Library Force”, the Library is where the forceful committee doesn’t have any right to touch their materials, and the Library has their right to defend themselves from the committee when they get rough, and then they have “Library Defense Force”. This force doesn’t work to fight the committee, but they only defend themselves in order to keep the Library safe and sound, and thus, they have rights to hold weapons. And there’s this “Task Force”, an elite force in the Library Defense Force that work more specifically and more hard than the regular “Defense Force”. They also have to work as the Librarians, which make this force a bit ‘special’ than the usual defense force. They have to know how to fight and how to be librarians.

Okay, so the story begins with this girl, Iku Kasahara. She’s tall, mid-twenties, huge, perhaps. And she’s kinna strong. She has this dream to join the Defense Force because in High School, someone from the Defense Force has done something that made her see him as a prince-though she totally forgot about his face, his voice-and rescue her from the Media Improvement Committee from taking her favorite book that she’s been waiting for 10 years long. Then, with her passion, she joined the Defense Force secretly because her parents don’t like her doing things that is not ‘girlish’, since Iku herself is quite tomboy but girlie in other part, but from how she survives, she is indeed strong and quite like a man.

Her story revolves around how she do her job as a Task Force member. Yep, her supervisor, Atsushi Dojo (he play a very big role here), and Komaki-I don’t know his surname, with their supervisor, Genda, suggested to the Chief Commander (I forgot his name!) that she and Tezuka, the super perfect guy that will team up with her and Dojo and Komaki, he’s *quite* handsome but cold, praise Dojo so much, genius, but at the beginning, very rough to Iku because he couldn’t get the point why someone -a woman!- that is not as capable as him can be tasked as a Task Force member. But he gets it why along the story, and being cuter each chapter, will be put in the Task Force.

How things turn out in this story is very nice, to me. The development is great, not fast but not too slow. Iku has this bad relationship with Dojo and they fight a lot, but Dojo and herself show affection to each other, realize it or not, and indeed, Dojo is caring to her. And yes, like other typical romance story, things turn out to be good.

But my main point is, the story is not about Iku and Dojo’s relationship. It’s mainly about the story of the era where you have to fight to read something, and I always love books more than anything. I don’t mind buying books I have read and don’t open the cover for ages to make it safe. I close my bookshelves and I despise people who can’t see the preciousness of books. I do believe that life also comes from books, and books have souls. Yes, sound fictional, but I treat my books as my body, so I do love anything that discuss about protecting and praising books. Glad someone is kind enough to take this theme and turn it into a manga and anime.

Yes, the story about Iku and her Task Force, her supervisor, her friends, and her life to safe books for people who also care about it came from light-novels from Japan by Hiro Arikawa. 

He has written 4 series, and actually, only the first one that use the name “Toshokan Sensou”. The others are Toshokan Nairan, Toshokan Kiki, and Toshokan Kakumei (still finding the meaning and the English version of the novels). In Japan itself, they have published the story under two mangaka, so apparently, there are two mangas that came with the same story, but the different is, one is more ‘shoujo’ -for girls- and the other one is more ‘shounen’ -for boys-although the romance story is still in there. I like the shoujo one more, since they have came out in my country, and I have a better image of the story, and better excitement, from the shoujo version, Toshokan Senso: Love and War while the shounen one is Toshokan Senso: Spitfire!

They also have this anime came out in 2008, and I just knew it nowadays-since I just met the title very new-and guess what? The anime is a BOOM. I love the artwork but sadly, I can’t download all of them (my internet connection suddenly turned low). But I do aim to download them all. I love the anime just by seeing the first eps and OVA.

So please don’t mind to keep in touch with my blog, since I’m going to write things about my interests, and these kind of things are also my deepest interest.

Tell me if you’re a fan of this series!

Jangan Pisahkan Kami!

Salah satu topik hangat yang cukup menjadi perdebatan di kalangan siswa SMAN 3 Bandung angkatan 2013 adalah masalah "Pemisahan Kelas". Ya, masalah ini sudah cukup menjadi rutinitas sekolah di tingkat menengah pertama bahkan sekolah dasar. Saya pun baru mulai memikirkannya di SMA ini. Angkatan kami yang menggunakan sistem SKS pada awal semester dua sudah dipecah lagi, padahal konkritnya, sebuah kelas seharusnya utuh hingga pergantian tahun ajaran. Nyatanya, kami baru mulai menjalin kedekatan, dan tiba-tiba dipisah kembali.

Di kelas baru pun, saya sempat merasakan ketidaknyamanan luar biasa, karena beberapa hal, seperti:

1. Saya bukan orang asli Bandung, sehingga belum ada yang benar-benar kenal.
   
2. Yang berasal dari kelas sebelumnya juga tidak terlalu banyak.
   
3. Saya baru masuk setelah dua hari izin sakit.
   
   

Berdasarkan beberapa pertimbangan itu, saya sempat merasa kecewa karena minggu pertama saya terasa begitu membosankan, hingga saya nyaris terus bergaul dengan teman-teman dari kelas terdahulu.

Dan tanpa saya sadari, kelas saya saat ini menjadi salah satu kelas terbaik yang pernah saya tempati, sudah bisa menyeimbangi posisi kelas 9F di hati saya. Tipikal kelas yang saya tempati biasanya selalu ribut, terkadang sulit untuk merasa respect kepada guru yang tidak bisa membuat kami merasa respect, kritis dan aktif. Tipe kelas yang sedari dulu selalu saya tempati.

Kami bahkan punya nama kelas yang cukup kece, Simaung. Kami bahkan sudah membuat jersey kelas yang tidak kalah kece. Semakin banyak ke-kece-an di kelas kami yang membuat saya semakin jatuh hati dan semakin menyayangkan bila kami harus dipisah, lagi.

Dan sekarang sudah mendekati akhir kelas satu, akhir tahun ajaran 2010/2011. Satu-satunya hal yang membuat saya stress: Masalah Pemecahan Kelas.

Awalnya, saya mendengar ada beberapa kelas yang mengalami masalah kelas dan tidak nyaman, meski rumornya, sekarang masalah tersebut sudah berkurang dan keakraban masing-masing kelas sudah mulai terjalin. Meski saya terlihat sangat biasa, tapi perlu ditekankan lagi bahwa Masalah Pemecahan Kelas

ini menjadi hal yang cukup menekan saya selama beberapa minggu terakhir.

Beberapa alasan yang seharusnya kita pertimbangkan mengenai mengapa kelas seharusnya tidak dipecah lagi adalah berikut:

1. Kita adalah siswa SMA yang tidak perlu lagi didikte dan dibantu lagi oleh pihak sekolah dalam menjalin keharmonisan kelas. Keselarasan dan kekompakan kelas hanya bisa dan sekali lagi, hanya bisa, diciptakan oleh penghuninya sendiri, tidak peduli bagaimana guru ikut campur. Bukan berarti kelas yang asyik karena di kelas tersebut ada anak-anak yang hobi melawak, sehingga kondisi kelas terasa selalu menyenangkan. Bukan, kondisi kelas yang harmonis sekali lagi bergantung pada penghuninya, baik mayoritas maupun minoritas.
   
   
2. Pemikiran bahwa berada di kelas yang terlihat kompak dan ramai akan jauh lebih mengasyikkan dari kelas yang saat ini menurut saya sangat salah, karena sekali lagi, kelas yang ramai hanya bisa diciptakan karena penghuninya yang berkeinginan untuk menciptakan kondisi seperti itu. Bukan jaminan bila kita masuk ke dalam kelas yang menurut pandangan kita sangat seru, maka kelas itu akan sama harmonisnya dan kompaknya dengan kita tidak masuk. Peranan setiap penghuni sangat berpengaruh dalam menciptakan kondisi kelas, dan kelas yang menurut kita menyenangkan belum tentu cocok dengan diri kita, karena sekali lagi, tergantung dari kita yang menciptakan kondisi.
   
   
3. Pemisahan kelas menandakan bahwa kita hanya bisa lari dari masalah kelas yang kurang harmonis, dan tanpa usaha untuk menyesuaikan diri, kita lebih memilih untuk diacak kembali. Padahal, kelas yang kompak dan harmonis membutuhkan waktu dan proses dalam usaha meraih kondisi tersebut. Mungkin ada kelas yang cepat meraih kondisi yang kompak karena penghuninya menginginkan hal tersebut, ada juga yang lambat karena penghuninya masih berusaha membuka diri dan membutuhkan titik di mana mereka semua dapat terbuka satu sama lain.
   
   
4. Kelas yang harmonis tidak selamanya harmonis dan kompak. Ada kalanya di saat kita sudah terbiasa satu sama lain, kekesalan yang sempat terpendam memuncak dan mulai muncul perasaan kesal satu sama lain. Di saat seperti inilah yang menjadi puncak di mana kita bisa merasakan suka-duka dari berkeluarga di kelas. Semakin banyak masalah yang dihadapi, semakin banyak penyelesaian yang dihasilkan, semakin kuat pula ikatan warganya. Analogikan saja seperti keluarga, tidak selamanya senang dan bahagia, tapi dengan adanya masalah, suatu keluarga pun akan semakin kuat ikatan batinnya.
   
   
5. Bila kita merasa iri dengan keharmonisan kelas lain, pikirkanlah cara agar Kita bisa menciptakan kondisi kelas yang lebih mengasyikkan dari kelas tersebut, bukan malah terpuruk dan merasa tidak betah. Bila merasa berbeda, Ubah menjadi yang lebih baik. Bila merasa kurang aktif, Berusaha menjadi lebih aktif. Bila merasa kurang ramai, Kondisikan kelas menjadi lebih mengasyikkan. Kita tidak bisa bergantung pada orang lain untuk menciptakan sesuatu yang kita inginkan, Kita yang membuat apa yang kita inginkan!
   
   
6. Beberapa pemikiran yang mengatakan bahwa kalau kelas tidak dipecah, maka kita tidak akan bisa akrab dengan satu angkatan, menurut saya pemikiran yang kurang tepat untuk anak SMA. Bung, Kita bukan anak kecil lagi! Di saat masa sekolah dan gejolak remaja memuncak di masa SMA, sudah saatnya kita mulai meresapi maksud dari keluarga di sekolah. Apa keuntungan dari berteman dengan semuanya, tapi tidak ada satupun di antara mereka yang kita benar-benar merasa nyaman, yang menerima kita sepenuhnya, dan sudah melewati suka-duka bersama? Ujung-ujungnya, pemisahan kelas secara rutin hanya akan menciptakan pribadi yang individualis, tidak peduli dengan rekannya, karena sekolah sudah mengkondisikan kita untuk berdiri sendiri, berinteraksi sendiri. Memang baik berteman dengan semua, tapi akan lebih menyenangkan bila kita bisa benar-benar dekat dengan warga kelas, sehingga setidaknya, ada komunitas yang benar-benar menerima dan mengerti kita, layaknya sahabat dan keluarga.
   
   
7. Kalau masih ada yang merasa ingin dipisah, mari kita lihat mayoritas dan minoritas, dalam artian bahwa, dalam suatu negara, keinginan mayoritas tetap diikuti dengan menjamin hak asasi kelompok minoritas. Bagi mereka yang begitu ingin memisahkan diri dari kelas dan ternyata termasuk kelompok minoritas, seharusnya bisa memikirkan juga efek dari memaksakan kehendak yang sudah berlawanan dengan mayoritas. Toh, meski misalnya, kelompok mayoritas yang mendapat suara, hak minoritas akan tetap terjamin, karena kehidupan sekolah layaknya suatu negara. Jangan lupa pula, di saat kita memikirkan hak kita sebagai mayoritas, ada poin-poin penting di atas yang perlu kita usahakan dan pikirkan lagi sebagai kewajiban kita sebagai warga, bukan mayoritas atau minoritas.
   
   
8. Dan berjuta alasan lain mengapa kelas sebaiknya tidak dipisah.
   
   

Yang ingin saya tekankan sekali di sini adalah:

Kita yang menciptakan apa yang kita inginkan, bukan guru, sekolah, atau orangtua. Berhenti melihat dan berusaha menjadi bagian sesuatu dan mulailah MENCIPTAKAN kondisi yang kita inginkan. Kondisi kelas atau kondisi apapun bergantung kepada PENGHUNInya, bukan guru, sekolah, atau orangtua. Jangan mengeluh dan berhenti merasa iri, karena belum tentu apa yang kita harapkan sesuai dengan apa yang kita rasakan, karena sekali lagi, USAHA DAN PROSES MEMPENGARUHI HASIL.

Semoga hal di atas membawa manfaat bagi murid sekolah siapapun yang membaca dan menjadi renungan kita untuk memikirkan hal-hal bahwa kita bukan lagi anak kecil.

Ya, mungkin terkesan berlebihan karena saya membahas hal semacam ini, tapi sekali lagi, ini usaha saya untuk mencapai apa yang saya impikan, begitu juga dengan yang seharusnya kalian lakukan.

Thanks before for your great attention, and please consider these stuffs better,

Good night.

 

Sincerely,

Dina Puspita Sari